Trampoline to Space? Russian Official Tells NASA to Take a Flying Leap

My Catbird Seat April 30, 2014 4

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin,a target of U.S. sanctions sparked by the Ukraine crisis, said Tuesday that those sanctions would boomerang against America's space effort and told NASA to take a flying leap … on a trampoline.


by Alan Boyle

NBC News


Russian reaction to Space sanctions

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin suggests that NASA "bring their astronauts to the International Space Station using a trampoline." Alexander Zemlianichenko / AP


Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin, a target of U.S. sanctions sparked by the Ukraine crisis, said Tuesday that those sanctions would boomerang against America's space effort and essentially told NASA to take a flying leap … on a trampoline.

"After analyzing the sanctions against our space industry, I suggest to the USA to bring their astronauts to the International Space Station using a trampoline," Rogozin said via his Russian-language Twitter account.

The tart tweet came after news reports in which Rogozin, who is in charge of the Russian space program, was quoted as saying sanctions against Russia would have a negative effect on NASA as well as Europe's space effort. "Essentially, the Americans want to clear us out of the space services market," he said.

Russian rockets are being used to launch European satellites as well as NASA astronauts, he noted. "I am sick and tired of these sanctions, to be honest," he told journalists in the Crimean city of Simferopol, which was part of Ukraine until Crimea was annexed by Russia last month. "They don't understand that the sanctions will hit them like a boomerang."

Rogozin is on the list of Russian officials whose financial assets are supposed to be frozen under the terms of the U.S. sanctions. He came under criticism last week from SpaceX's billionaire founder, Elon Musk, who is contesting the U.S. Air Force's decision to buy rocket hardware from United Launch Alliance.

Russian SpaceAlexander Astafyev / RIA-Novosti via AP

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin, far right, chats with other officials at an assembly hangar for Russia's Angara rocket at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in February.

The Russian state-controlled company NPO Energomash provides engine components for ULA's Atlas 5 rocket, and Musk said "it would be hard to imagine that Dmitry Rogozin is not benefiting personally from the dollars that are sent there."

If that's the case, Musk argued that the Air Force's purchase of Atlas rockets might violate U.S. sanctions. In response to a question about that issue, State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki said Rogozin was being targeted "as an individual, not as a company."

alan_boyleUpdate for 4:20 p.m. ET April 29: Here's my favorite Twitter response to this item.

Alan Boyle is the science editor for NBC News Digital. He joined at its inception in July 1996,and took on the science role in July 1997 with the landing of NASA's Mars Pathfinder probe. Boyle is responsible for coverage of science and space for…. Expand Bio

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  1. MyWikiDisQus May 1, 2014 at 3:39 am - Reply

    Oh Yeah?


    Well Obama has decided to take up the challenge by consulting with experts at M. Putt Sailmakers and commissioned them to build the world’s largest spring loaded pneumatic launching device.


    The initial cost estimate to be paid by the American taxpayer is 500 million dollars but that could rise as one stipulation of the agreement is the requirement to use high priced union labor to, “grow the economy.” The machine dubbed, “The Springinator” is reported to be similar in design to the world’s largest push up bra (see: ) also built by the English company however it will be greatly scaled up to accommodate the weight of up to two American astronauts.


    The principles of operation will require the astronauts to be dropped from a tall crane onto the tip of each bra cup whereby the rapid descent will trigger heavy duty springs to sling them upward with enough force to put the astronauts into orbit and dock with the international space station. Obama said, “This baby will be build to last,” as he locked arms with the president of M. Putt Sailmakers and the director of the NASA space program.


    When President Vladimir Putin read the press release he just shook his head and said, “This attempt to end the cooperative efforts between Russia and the U.S. will create a bra gap. We will not stand idly by and let this happen.” Afterwards, Putin was seen tearing up with laughter as he joked with Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogzin.

    • Don Nash May 1, 2014 at 1:49 pm - Reply

      Oh damn MyWikiDisQus, that was hysterically funny. Kudos.

  2. Don Nash May 1, 2014 at 1:54 pm - Reply

    Dear Mr. Rogozin:


    Please please please tell the Americans to piss up rope.


    Kindly advise Dear Obama that Americans can now walk to the ISS. Oh do it oh yes do. America can't get into space.


    Being American, I am shamed by our inability to get into space and I am more than ashamed by the Obama regime's ignorant and infantile rhetoric aimed at Russia. 


    Wish NASA and the Obama regime a fond farewell and good luck getting to the ISS which is now a wholly owned and operated enterprise by Russia. 


    Such a statement might just shake America to it's core and cause a deliberate stirring of a brain dead American people that just might wake up and wonder what in the hell is going on. 

  3. rhys May 1, 2014 at 4:51 pm - Reply

    Don Nash,

    You are a supreme optimistic dreamer. You said……


    "Such a statement might just shake America to it's core and cause a deliberate stirring of a brain dead American people that just might wake up and wonder what in the hell is going on."

    But here's a touch of reality.

    The only way to shake up the "brain dead American people" is for them to see for themselves a realtime Israeli false flag operation and then to finally realise that these Israelis are not like us, they are not Americans, they don't share our once important values; they did cause 9/11; they are behind every crime against peace in the world, they are trying to create a New World Order at the expense of all that we have fought for and to finally conclude that………



    Then we can take back our country, start feeding our poor, close our 900 military bases and put the money to better use for the people, increase our employment by making product in America again, not China and then scrutinise the voting records of all elected members and identify publicly, for all to see, those who have NOT placed America first……. …probably 80% of fully paid for Zionist sycophants in both houses.

    Get rid of them


    Return to The Constituion as you once knew it …….BtiB (before the idiot Bush).

    Then and only then can one search for presidential candidates who are really honest and decent people, not the Ms Clintons, McCains etc. of this world and get on with being a respected country again, managing your own affairs, just yours, and sending the Zionists off-shore, permanently if you can find anyone who will take them. But get them out of the country. No one needs an incurable disease.


    Then we might stop treating Russia like an enemy,  ask Russia nicely as an equal,   'can we  come on board the International Space Station' and they will probably say, 'Welcome' , or whatever that is in Russian.


    You see, they are no one's enemy. The enemy is clearly the psychotic Zionists with not a decent bone in their collective bodies, but you are dancing to their tune.

    So that's what 'brain dead Americans' need to realise, the sooner the better.


    It's quite simple really, Don.


    And, yes, before you ask, I do enjoy Hans Christian Andersen, The Brothers Grimm, the Tooth Fairy, and Father Christmas.


    Finally, even those aliens watching the Space Station fly around up there knpw that Netanyahu and his criminals have America's vitals in their grip and as a result, the evil and disrespected country they have now become.


    Forget about the Space Station, America, you have bigger problems than that.

    Start wth Zionism,  the bastard child of Israel.




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